Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Who Are You?

In my work I often find an issue that crops up for people when they move outside their comfort zone and that is in being able to determine what you should adapt to and when you should choose to default to your personal style.

I have found myself in situations at times when a decision had to be made-do I bury who I am in order to meet someone else’s expectations, to avoid a penalty of some kind, or to gain a benefit of some kind?

This is different than meeting expectations of conducting oneself in a respectful manner or making a compromise to reach a workable solution to a problem. This is about who you are and when or if you should put aside an aspect of your personality for one of the reasons noted.

I have on a few occasions made the decision to ‘bury’ an aspect of who I am in order to meet someone else’s expectations and in two situations it turned out well and in three it did not. In the situations where it did not turn out well I was left with the task of figuring out how to improve my ability to make the best decision next time. When it did turn out well I still had a lingering feeling of unease, as if the positive outcome was earned at a price too high. More often I choose not to bury who I am and whether it turns out well or does not at the end of the day what does turn out well is that I feel positive about the outcome, regardless of what it is. And now, that is my decision every time.

What do you do when faced with such choices? Have you ever made a decision that turned out well and you were fine with it overall? Have you made a decision when it did not turn out well and how did you use that situation as a learning opportunity?

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