Now that a new season is near it seems fitting to think about what to let go of that may clear the way for new adventures and possibly improving our current relationships and work experience.
Change is something that I spend a lot of time thinking about; mostly to the ways it affects organizational culture and how that culture and the people within it responds to change. However the way it affects our non-work life also can show up in how we manage at work, something HR people help others to deal with on a daily basis.
Change, Control & Insight
Some changes we have a certain amount of control over and some we do not, but what we more often do have control over is how we deal with it. There is something that right now feels like a big giant obstacle that affects me every single day and has been doing so for several years. It is one of those things that create a conflict within because it relates to some really fundamental needs; things that help me stay comfortable and happy. It affects my sense of self and my outlook, my energy levels and how I view events as they unfold. I tend to be a pretty even-tempered, calm and happy person but when my “Maslow” bottom tier needs are under pressure ‘normal’ starts to feel like work.
It is within my control to change it but the only solution that I have control over, after looking at things from several angles, is one I am not prepared to use. And hence my dilemma, a concern that the solution to a problem will create a situation that may not be enough of an improvement. In some ways it is like that “greener pastures” dilemma-and certainly something we all encounter from time to time. On the other hand I also have the feeling that I am missing something, a solution, that regardless of trying various ideas to resolve the problem simply hasn't popped up. And I can't shake that feeling, a certain logic says there is another answer.
I can make a change that will resolve the problem, what I can’t be sure of is whether or not that really is the core problem or if something else is going on. There is a sense of missing something. The why of this dilemma is one that is seemingly simple; I can’t change someone else or force that person to act. I can only choose how to deal with a problem and make a decision based on my own requirements. As I only see one solution my decision will not affect just me-it will affect another person significantly.
Things That Help
I have always been a big fan of journals as they often help us uncover the solution to a dilemma when we look back on them; and they can show us where we stand on the change resilience factor. In addition to journals, I have utilized professional coaches and wise friends often enough. But this time, having tried all those routes, I am still left with a problem that requires a solution I do not want to act on.
And the signs of Spring showing up outside my window create a sense of urgency, that it is time to make a decision and act. It is part greener pastures and part a simple rite of Spring but it makes a situation feel bigger and the need to change it feel more compelling. Although maybe in reality it is no more urgent or compelling than it was last year, or the year before. It is puzzling in some ways as I am not used to this type of indecision and it is my ongoing hesitation that has me wondering what is missing-what key factor is escaping my attention.
What dilemma is creating the sense that you need to act in your world? What helps you when faced with really difficult choices? What do you do when all your 'go to' methods don't work?